Spit Bump and Scream and Beg For More

I won't be able to make it unfortunately, but if you're at a loose end this weekend why not head along to Skull Juice's brand new night:



Great flyer, huh?

Also featuring rising electro star Kissy Sell Out (AKA Tommy Bisdee), whose recent single 'Her' has been a bit of a dancefloor smash. It has more than a little Justice-ness about it. Which is no bad thing.

KISSY SELL OUT - HER

Speaking of Justice, Skull Juice themselves have some new Ed Banger tunes for you to download. Go pay 'em a visit.


If I was around this weekend i'd also go to this:



Metronomy! RadioClit! Absentee! Apartment! And fuckin UK 'Me Is Original Nuttah' APACHE!!!!


Classic doesn't even start to cover it!

UK APACHE & SHY FX - ORIGINAL NUTTAH

I was sure i'd posted this before, but seems I haven't.


I seem to remember when this came out UK Apache became a bit of a pariah on the Jungle scene for supposedly selling out... appearing on Top of The Pops etc. Well if this rude boy track is selling out then i'm moving into Asda. Twelve years on this sounds as thrilling as ever.... from the 'Goodfellas' sample, to the way he drops a bit of Cockney into the Patois at the start (always makes me smile), to the sirens, rolling bass & fierce drums.

Amen to that!

You could have been a goalkeeper.

Christ, what an ordeal Switzerland vs Ukraine was. Even the penalty shoot-out was boring.

It made me feel rather like this in fact:



Hopefully this might help you recover from that dreadful match. It's a new remix by Alan Braxe. Yay!



It starts out like some kind of German trance record from 10 years ago (think: Eye Q; Sven Vath; Platypus; 2 Full Moons & a Trout) and then segues into some massively distorted synths sounding rather reminiscent of Vitalic - with a radio-friendly vocal over the top. Braxe really does have that popular touch, and if it wasn't for all the distortion you could imagine this hitting Top of the Pops. Thankfully, however, it remains just fucked up enough that you can enjoy it without alcopops, a Hackett shirt and a scrap outside the kebab shop.

Well the Vitalic comparisons are apt, since it turns out that the record is released on Vitalic's own label - Citizen Records. Perhaps Pascal leant his chums some machines or something?


JOHN LORD FONDA - SO FAR AWAY (ALAN BRAXE REMIX)


You can hear the original version on John Lord Fonda's myspace page. It sounds even more Vitalic-like than this remix. So go check it out.




I've just watched the first episode of Saxondale, the new series by Steve Coogan. It was pretty funny I thought. He does come across as part Alan Partridge, part Paul Calf - but as the characters develop I can see this turning into a good little series. Steve Coogan does have an incredible skill of bringing characters to life, and i'm already intrigued about what's gonna happen next in this. It's about time there was something funny on the telly.....

"I took no pleasure in that, it was an act of mercy"

Anyone for Cuy?

Having realised I hadn't updated my 'Featured Artists' links for about a year, I thought i'd better do so. So I have. I've also added a few new blogs on the right, one of which you should visit immediately.

Detroit Is For Lovers is a new Detroit techno blog, and has just put up one of my all time favourite tracks - 'Don't You Want It' by Davina. I posted it myself a good while back, but if you've not heard it go & download....




Right then, better sit down & prepare myself for England vs Ecuador. And if I hear one more time about how they eat Guinea Pig in Ecuador i'll scream. They're eaten in PERU not Ecuador. I can't really recommend them either. Not only does its little face look up at you from the plate, but there's an awful lot of bones & not a lot of meat.





So I have a very bad feeling about this afternoon's game - unsurprising given England's atrocious performances so far, and the anticipated heat for the game (35 degrees!). We're definitely one of the poorest sides to qualifty for the second round, and watching the incredible Argentina vs Mexico game last night you realise quite how one-dimensional our play is.

But you never know.. since the last round Sven might have suddenly turned into a good manager!!!




COME ON ENGLAND!!!!!!!

Gymkahna Girls

What a game Australia vs Croatia was tonight. Nailbiting tension, goalkeeping howlers, desperation, farcical refereeing, more nailbiting tension, and plenty more comedy refereeing (from England's only representative on the pitch!) all wrapped up in constant end-to-end action. That was bloody great that was. The World Cup started for real right there.



Since we're celebrating the dark side of the earth, it would be a good time to say 'g'day' to a band introduced to me by Jen, my ears to the ground in New Zealand

Now I was a little sceptical at first, since music in New Zealand was actually stopped by the Government in 1987, when Vanilla Ice was number one. That quirk of fate has led to 'Ice Ice Baby', and number two single at the time, Salt 'n' Pepa's 'Push It' to be played on rotation ever since in every pub and club on the islands, in the mistaken belief that they are still 'top of the pops'.

Under these testing circumstances it's quite remarkable then that Jen's Auckland Idols are actually...... bloody marvellous.

Giddy up yerself!


Hell yeah, this first track is a real romper stomper of a party , despite or in fact because of the vocoder-heavy vocals. Cher's not gonna spoil our fun!! Yeah it makes me want to breakout, jump into a space invader and blow the shizzle out of some asteroids. All while shimmying from side to side dance dance revolution style. Powerpill!

NORTH SHORE PONY CLUB - COMPUTER GAMES

The single is accompanied by a rather marvellous video - which I think you should watch and enjoy. It looks like it cost very many dollars (although it might well have been done on the cheap).





As if that wasn't enough, the band sent me another gangbuster* song, and it'd be rude of me not to post that up also. This one dispenses with the vocoders, and is a hot piece of Disco Punk with the emphasis on the Disco rather than the Punk. I could imagine Optimo getting in a sweat over this.

NORTH SHORE PONY CLUB - THE SEQUEL

I believe some of the samples are from 'Grease' in case you start scratching your head and racking your brains as I did.




Now if there's one thing you can call me it's predictable. So it's time for the other pre-teen Groucho. But this is not just for the convenience of having a similar name, oh no, for Lahndan Taaahn's New Young Pony Club are probably the band i've enjoyed most this year that i've not yet mentioned here. Shit i love these guys. Like THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS much.



The band have released 3 singles thus far - the first two coming out on Tirk Records - also home to Maurice Fulton (as Syclops) and headphonesex heroes Fujiya & Miyagi.

2004's debut single is essentially an electroey version of Kelis' 'Milkshake'. But being from London rather than LA the milkshake has frozen into an icier concoction.

NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB - ICE CREAM

If this recent b-side is anything to go by, the band seem to be perfecting their art. Since the debut single the band have acquired, well, a band! And this sounds a bit less 'machine' than Ice Cream. It still sounds like it would be best accompanied by dry ice and strobes though.

NEW YOUNG PONY CLUB - GET DANCEY

I'm tired & I gotta go to bed. Just download these ya crazy fools.

This Night Has Opened My Ears

I've noticed over the last couple of weeks that two of Aphex Twin's early R&S 12"s - Didgeridoo and Xylem Tube - have been re-issued.




Around the time of their original release I was completely obsessed by AFX, and these are two landmark releases.

It all started when my buddy Paul slipped me a cassette of 'Selected Ambient Works 85-92'. Until that time I was a confirmed Indie Kid, listening to a lot of American post-Nirvana dross plus the finest the UK had to offer at the time (Err... Neds Atomic Dustbin? Carter USM? Kingmaker?). Yeah well anyway I put this Aphex cassette in my stereo and my ears just yawned wide open, sucking in these beautiful melodies. I'd never heard noises like that before - I just couldn't believe there was someone on earth making music like this.

I seem to remember Ageispolis having a particular effect on me. Holed up with some cheap hash I listened to it again and again, each time mesmerised by the unfeasibly low bass frequencies coming out of my speakers.

APHEX TWIN - AGEISPOLIS

Like many people I was then confronted with the bewildering array of Aphex records trickling into the shops. Bewildering because of all the aliases he used... such as Brad Strider, AFX, Caustic Window, Universal Indicator and The Dice Man (which led me to unwittingly buy a few dodgy 12"s by another Diceman). In 1992 & 93 Aphex was in a peak of creativity that I can't believe has been matched by anyone before or since.

There was also of course Polygon Window - the alias Richard used for his second classic album (The equally stunning Analogue Bubblebath 3 can wait for another time!).

If 'Selected Ambient Works' sounded like nothing I'd heard before, then 'Surfing on Sine Waves' did and still does sound like it could only have been made by aliens. It's impossible to put my finger on what it is, but I just get a feeling in the pit of my stomach when I listen to it that convinces me that the universe is infinite and that extra terrestrial life is not just possible but probable. It seems to induce physiological changes in me. Which I can't say of many other records.



POLYGON WINDOW - POLYGON WINDOW

Thing is though, it's a slightly disturbing feeling. Perhaps this is how Rubber Johnny turned out that way?




So back to the singles...

If you've heard Digeridoo you'll never forget it. Like almost everything else he produced at the time, it just sounds so organic. You just can't imagine it's been created by pressing buttons on a computer, or even from rewiring synths. Even as a ferocious acid track it puts you right in the middle of the outback, sounding like something carried to you in the breeze, or in a dream. It's utterly unique.

APHEX TWIN - DIGERIDOO

The second single, Xylem Tube, is probably even better, containing as it does the jaw-dropping 'Polynomial-C'. A beautiful piano riff - that's so complex you can't imagine anyone actually composing it - is carried along by some stabbing synths... before you're assaulted by some brutal breakbeats. 'Braindance' - the term his label Rephlex coined to describe their work - is a fair description.

APHEX TWIN - POLYNOMIAL-C

I've also always loved 'Tamphax' from the same EP, which twists a sample from a Tampax advert into a glorious slice of industrial acid.... as indicated by the 'PH' that's found in this & most other track titles from the two EPs.

"Are you one of those girls, for whom time stands still. Once a month?"

APHEX TWIN - TAMPHAX (HEDPHUQ MIX)


If you're a vinyl buyer and don't own both of these records then go buy em !!!

If you're more into CDs then fear not, for both EPs are available in their entirity on the 'Classics' album, also on R&S.... which also includes Richard's two brutally industrial mixes of 'Mescalinum United' and the beautiful 'Analogue Bubblebath 1'.

Although if you've got nothing i've mentioned then Selected Ambient works & Polygon Window are the ones to start with!!

Always Wipe From Front to Back

Quite a few months back I stumbled across a band called Mama Shamone at 333, who rocked my socks so much my toes have been getting cold ever since. I've been waiting for them to release something, and I finally have a CD of their forthcoming debut single. It's a double-A side with 'Over' and 'You Got Me', and both are wicked.



The band have been gigging quite relentlessly round London's smaller venues recently.. head over to 'Music like Dirt' for some really fantastic photos of a gig at the Rhythm Factory a couple of months ago.





Of the two tracks on the single I prefer 'You Got Me', but you should really listen to 'Over' as well... head to their myspace for that. But listen to these first.

MAMA SHAMONE - YOU GOT ME

Although the single is great, you really have to see the band live. Frontwoman Mama is a star in the making, and impossible to take your eyes off on stage. She's also, I seem to remember, a little terrifying.

They're still playing tiny venues so you can get up close & personal:

Jun 25 2006 9:00P	'Kill Robot Kill' @ Hoxton Bar & Grill	London
Jun 29 2006 9:00P	'Fermer Le Bouche' @ Bullet Bar	London

Encouragingly, the band also have an x-rated incarnation....

sample lyric "If you wipe from back to front, you'll end up with a shit filled cunt"

nice!

Hopefully a nipple will help take your mind off that...



Are you in a more fluffy state of mind now?

In that case you'll be about ready to listen to this:

WARNING - this is the first, last and only time I will ever give a parental advisory warning on a record! If you're easily offended..... fuck you.

MAMA SHAMONE - GRANDPA

Play it at your next school disco.

On second thoughts, you'd better not.


As far as I can tell, they're still unsigned. Which seems scandalous. Give 'em loads of money right now.



This next track is another must-hear (mind you, they're all must-hears on headphonesex!).... I can't count the number of times i've listened to it in the last 24 hours!



It really seems the scandinavians have given up on rape & pillage, and are invading our ears instead. For these hairy customers are yet more chancers from Sweden. And they are called Fox 'n' Wolf.

RAAAAAARRRRRRR.

I had to be a bit cheeky with this, since I wanted a copy to play tomorrow night I ripped it from Fox 'n' Wolf's myspace page. This is why i'm not sure who did this remix, since the track title is truncated as the JD-somethng mix. JD Twitch from Optimo perhaps? It doesn't really sound like Optimo, but who knows. Well, maybe someone reading knows. You're an educated bunch.



I can really see this being this summer's "We Are Your Friends" - and we can only hope that the song's chorus of "Put Your Left Hand Up In The Air, And Your Right Hand Down In Yr Underwear" catches on! The new Black Lace?


Ha!

"A DJ without a Black Lace record is not a DJ"

Wise words, mate.

Think i'll stick that on my gravestone.


Download this now:

FOX 'N' WOLF - IN YR UNDERWEAR (JD SOMETHING MIX)

Footy Footy Footy Footy

Ing-Er-Land! Rooney! 5pm! Rum!



this

and

this

Dragon. Raaarrrrrrr.

I might give up on the football posts before I upset every person reading this. My comments were supposed to be tongue-in-cheek but maybe didn't come across that way. Also I don't have time. And also before the games are played there's not really a lot to say that you can't read in a million other places anyway.

My god though, wasn't Ronaldo crap this evening. I have never seen a more useless lazy lump in a football shirt in my entire life. And i've seen a few at Wycombe.


So back to the tunes, for what you can't get in a million other places is awesomely funky jams like this.

You know that despite the fact I can't play the fucked up A-side I loved that Shit Robot single on DFA (that which cannot be mentioned). But this is maybe even better. It's a bit like Zongamin's 'Bongo Song' but slowed down & stretched out into 11 minutes of spacious funk.

It's released on Tiny Sticks records (also home to Mock & Toof) and you should buy it.

DONDOLO - FIRE BREATHING (SHIT ROBOT REMIX)

It's 20MB though... just so you know.

New Banksys

This is a great new Banksy that's popped up in Bristol.....




There's been a few new stencils in London recently as well.

This one on the side of the poncey White Cube gallery



there's another version of that in Chalk Farm


There's also this on Pentonville Road



That same kid has popped up in a few places. This is on Tottenham Court Road, and there's another outside Cargo in Shoreditch.






Bottom three photos from Art of the State


Also love this from Wooster Collective




It's by a guy called Mark Jenkins

Forget the Sweat

I am feeling a little guilty for inflicting tedious football predictions on y'all instead of sharing orgasmatronic musical delights.

But to be honest (as in Germany) it's been so oppresively hot here I've had little inclination to do much except hole up on the sofa with beer & football.

But I have found time to listen to some hot new shit and some of it is here.

First is this new mix of Tiga by Boys Noize... who have suddently appeared with loads of great records & remixes recently. I didn't really enjoy Tiga's album 'Sexor' all that much, particularly in light of some of the great records that preceded it. But like Goldfrapp's 'Supernature' it's obviously provided some excellent source material from some choice remixers, cos some of the mixes from the album have been great.

This one is like Justice meets some early-90s hardcore and is rather great.

Whistle Posse make some noise!



TIGA - MOVE MY BODY (BOYS NOIZE REMIX)


As if to prove that wearing White Jeans and raving are indeed the things that fashionable people are doing nowadays, KLAXONS have exploded into my consciousness recently, causing me to sex wee with delight. 20JazzFunkGreats were as usual tipping them for greatness before they'd even had their first rehearsal. However I am less on the pulse than childrens television.

For there I was on Saturday morning watching Channel 4's 'Popworld' for the first time ever. (Rather entertaining it was too... I enjoyed the 'What's Your Favourite Biscuit' interview with Lordi!) When a Klaxons video suddenly appeared on screen ready to convert the nation's teenagers into an army of day-glo raving punk rockers.



That video was for their new single, 'Atlantis to Interzone', which you can hear on their myspace page. You can also supposedly see the video here but it didn't seem to work when I just tried it. Technical difficulties. Like i've been getting with fucking blogger every day lately (grrr...)

Now this is a remix of their debut single by Nottingham's Nightmoves. And goddam is this the shit. Starting out a bit like Vitalic's 'My Friend Dario' it then gets in equal parts more ravey and more rock & roll before a jack yr body climax to wave your arms about to.

KLAXONS - GRAVITY'S RAINBOW (NIGHTMOVES MIX)

If you've not heard the original version then you should watch the video too.

Elsewhere...

Gah, I was meaning to point you in the direction of Chantilly Bass' incredible old skool Detroit selections. But I got distracted and now all the links have expired. So No UFO's for you. But now she's gone & posted up Ron Trent's classic 'Altered States'. So you should still go there and check it out. How I love that track!

Also, i've not had a chance to sample it yet, but Chantilly & Cameron's new disco blog looks interesting..


For those of a more Indie disposition, Sheffield's blogging sensation Mike has decided to shut down his excellent & popular 'Take Your Medicine' blog. Boo!

But he's doing something new & exciting instead! Yay! The site is now called 'Nothing But Green Lights'. Why? Well let's ask Mike:

The Take Your Medicine Podcast shall continue. But this blog will replace the Take Your Medicine Blog. Reasons: I want a fresh start, I want to only feature bands that are special, not just good or buzzed or commiting commercial suicide. I also want to feature some fantastic things I find on the internet. Cultural things. Not funny videos and pictures of ugly cats or some c-list celebrity dropping her baby. More like incredible animation, stencil art, soviet propagana posters, great quality live performances, interviews with artists that move me, a 'state of the UK music scene address', a monthly roundup of the best mp3s from across the music blogsphere, and much much more...

Good luck Mike!


There were other people I was going to link to now but i've forgotten who they are now.

Let me see.

Skull Juice have an amazing selection of new tracks up for your pleasure. Ah, I remember now that's where the Tiga remix below came from. Oops! Thanks guys...

Anyway go there for more good shit in addition to that. Ed Banger, Erol Alkan, Chromatics, Peaches, Simian Mobile Disco, MSTRKRFT, Burial, Kissy Sell Out. I mean, I could go on... it's an epic post!

xxjfg have MSTRKFT also, and another great track by Betty Botox. See...!

I also just came across this site, which looks great for news about good musical shit & other good shit occurring in this sweltering city. For example.. Klaxons. Free Gig. Saturday. Hmmm....

As I say i'm sure there were a couple of other things I was going to mention, but i've forgotten. If you want to pimp your blog or a particular post on your blog please feel free to do so in the comments!

peace & love & ice cream


by the way, seems like my first & last suggestion for an outing to the theatre was a good one, for The History Boys cleaned up at some big awards thing or other. It's really good. Go see it.

It's Too Bloody Hot

2pm - GROUP F
Australia vs Japan

I predict a 25th minute goal for Shunsuke Nakamura following a clanger from Mark Schwarzer... then in a sensational last five minutes substitute Tim Cahill will nab two goals before John Aloisi wraps it up for the flaming galahs in the last minute.

Harry Kewell will be crap.

I'm very confident about this. Put your mortgage on it.

AUSTRALIA 3 - 1 JAPAN



5pm - GROUP E
USA!USA!USA! vs Czech Republic



This is going to be a fascinating game, with Team America (HELL YEAH!) up against the Czech Republic. This is another nightmare group, with all 4 teams well capable of qualifying.

No-one seems to take the sceptics seriously despite them reaching the quarter finals last time. And I think they'll qualify from this group (at the expense of Italy). I reckon they're better prepared than almost any team; they have an excellent manager; and they are less burdened by expectation than most teams in the tournament.

As for the czechs, well the man mountain Jan Koller is always a handful - as his 40 goals in 66 appearances attests to. Nedved has still got magic dust in his boots, and Cech the Czech is pretty much the best keeper in the world. They'll win this game and top the group. Italy will miss out on Round 2 on goal difference.


Predicion: TEAM AMERICA 1 - 2 CZECH REPUBLIC




8pm - GROUP E
Italy vs Ghana

The corrupt, cheating, referee bribing Italians will have spent more time worrying about the lengths of their prison sentences than preparing for the World Cup. So i'm not expecting them to perform too well.

I don't know much about Ghana, and don't have time to find anything out. Essien Essien blah blah blah.

Since Italy are playing there's only one possible result


Prediction: ITALY 0 - 0 GHANA

The Weekend Starts Here

The Germans were rather better than I anticipated - despite some defensive lapses they controlled the game comfortably and scored a couple of cracking goals. I guess we'll have to wait until later in the tournament to see if that's down to a revitalised German team or a poor looking Costa Rica side.

The Allianz Arena looked rather tasty as well. Hope the Wembley 'builders' were watching...


On to Poland vs Ecuador, and as usual ITV's coverage made me shudder from the off, with them using an appalling cover of Bowie's 'Heroes' as their theme tune. That's gonna really be doing my head in by, err, tomorrow. I've just found out it's by Kasabian. Which explains an awful lot.

Seriously, i'd rather perforate my own ear drums than have to listen to that again. Why is everything ITV does so bad? They've just got no class, innit. Mind you, with the inexplicable continued employment of Messrs Lawrenson, Wright & Shearer the BBC aren't a lot better.

Talking about the music, I'm starting to feel that Embrace's World Cup song has been unfairly maligned. I'm not a big fan of that sort of music, but I can't understand why all the Coldplay fans in the media have decided to slag it off so much. I had to play it a few times for a kids things at work today and, well, i've started to think it's rather good. So leave 'em alone mmmkay!

Ah yes, the game. Well I am delighted to have to eat my Panama Hat. Ecuador defended magnificently, and I thoroughly enjoyed their defeat of the dour Poles. The win also makes it look likely that (if all goes well) Ing-Er-Land will play Ecuador in Round 2. Which is great news as their keeper looked absolutely appalling.

Commentary blunder of the day: "you watch... he'll be up & running about in 20 seconds" Andy Townsend (?) on Ecuador's defensive colossus Ivan Hurtado lying prone on the ground. Moments later he was stretchered off & substituted.

So, onwards & upwards...

Sat, 2pm - Group B
England vs Paraguay

At last we can stop talking about it & actually see the boys in action. Rooney excepted it sounds like we've got a full strength team out, and for once i'm getting my optimistic hat on & foreseeing a comfortable victory.

Paraguay aren't a flair South American side... with a style similar to Uruguay they'll be tough as hell to break down, and not afraid to dish out a few tasty challenges. I reckon Peter Crouch will be our not-so-secret weapon though, and this game will see the Robocrouch unleased on the world not once but TWICE.

Dance like a machine.

Prediction: England 2 - 0 Paraguay



Sat, 5pm - Group B
Trinidad & Tobago vs Sweden

I can't predict a fairytale for T&T unfortunately. They're the smallest nation to ever reach the World Cup (population: 1.3 million), and surely a strikeforce of Ibrahimovic, Larsson & Ljungberg will be enough to secure a win for the Swedes?

Prediction: Trinidad & Tobago 1 - 3 Sweden



Sat, 8pm - Group C
Argentina vs Ivory Coast

'Group of Death' alert!! Although on paper you'd expect the Dutch & Argentinians to go through, i'm sure that one of the two will slip up against the supposed weaker sides. Question is, will it be the Argies or the Dutch? The only certainty is that no-one in this group will want to lose their opening game, and this one will be a cagey draw.

Prediction: Argentina 1 - 1 Ivory Coast



Sun, 2pm - Group C
Serbia & Montenegro vs Holland

As I mentioned before, I reckon the Dutch will go far in this tournament... so long as they negotiate their tricky group. Serbia are the weakest of the four teams, so if the Dutch are gonna progress they need to win this.

Prediction: Serbia & Montenegro 0 - 1 Holland



Sun, 5pm - Group D
Mexico vs Iran

My money is on Mexico to top this group (not literally.. i'm a terrible gambler and have learnt i'm best off keeping my money in my pocket!) and they'll be sent on their way with a comfortable win over Iran here.

By the way, did you know that Ali Daei has scored 109 goals in 147 games for Iran? That's a lot.

Prediction: Mexico 2 -0 Iran



Sun 8pm - Group D
Angola vs Portugal

What do I know about Angola? Nothing except they have a lot of diamonds and they have spent many many years brutally murdering each other in pursuit of said Diamonds. This should be an intriguing clash though, with the Africans facing their former colonial rulers. You know what, I bleedin' hate that step-over merchant (the other) Ronaldo. And I reckon the Angolans will do me proud & stick one up the Portugese.

Shock of the tournament so far!!

Prediction: Angola 2 -1 Portugal


<(apologies to Bruno who commented on the last post.... I have just realised that an unfortunate consequence of me doing this is that I will upset every single one of my overseas readers. Just checking that means i'll upset 74% of people visiting here. Sorry everyone. You're all great really.)

No Surprises

Is there anyone who hasn't read enough uninformed garbage about the World Cup already, from a thousand pundits desperately churning out their thousand-word commissions?

All of you? Excellent. In that case i'll weigh in with my own ill-informed opinions and lazy national stereotypes as I attempt to forecast the outcomes of tonight's matches.


Today, 5pm - Group A
Germany vs Costa Rica

Although the hosts or holders traditionally struggle in the opening game, the sneaky Germans have just been handed too easy a group to have any problems in qualification. They will be out-played for the majority of the game. The Costa Ricans will hit the woodwork twice. And the Germans will fire in an 89th minute goal for a 1-0 victory.

Despite their terrible form (they've recently lost to Ukraine (4-0) and Czech Republic (1-0)), Costa Rica have a great opportunity now that Ballack is out injured. But let's face it. The only certainties in life are death, taxes, and Germany fluking their way to the final. Nah, i'd bet all of Jurgen Klinsmann's love beads on a German win.

However... who gave Senegal a hope last time???


Prediction: Germany 1 - 0 Costa Rica

Beer in fridge: Weihenstephaner Weissbier



Today, 8pm - Group A
Poland vs Ecuador

Having had a great time in Ecuador a few years ago i'd really like to see them do well. Trouble is they've qualified for the last two World Cups by virtue of their fantastic home record, which they've acheived through playing at high altitude in Quito. When brought back down to earth they tend to become rather more beatable. And I think they'll particularly struggle against the physical European teams in their group. Poland are the sort of side who'll brush aside Ecuador with depressing efficiency, and I can see them running out comfortable winners.


Prediction: Poland 3 - 0 Ecuador

Beer in fridge: Zywiec


In music news, Sandi Thom has somehow got to number one with that awful 'Punk Rocker' song. Charlie Brooker reckon's she's the antichrist. He might have a point.

All the comment about her has focussed on her supposed bedroom gigs that supposedly spread round the internet like wildfire supposedly winning her hundreds of thousands of fans.

But what I don't understand is what she's on about. 'I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair'. Eh??? Am I missing something here? Shouldn't it be 'I wish I was a punk rocker with a kebab skewer through my tongue'. Quite how this drivel has entered the nation's consciousness I will never know.

Sun is in the sky, oh I don't wanna be anywhere else

No love for Grovesnor? That's a shame. But never mind, for Carl Craig (God's representative on Earth) is back back back. As if it seems he's been away at all over this last prolific year, when he's been on possibly the hottest form of his 15 year musical career.



Carl's got two new records in the shops this week. The first is a remix of Basic Channel affiliates 'Rhythm and Sound', on the fourth and final 12" in a series of remixes from R&S's 'See Mi Yah' album.

Carl has worked with Moritz Von Oswald a couple of times before. He put in an amazing remix of Maurizio's Domina back in 1993 ; before Basic Channel returned the favour with their only two remixes thus far - firstly of 'Remake' (Carl's version of Manuel Gottsching's E2-E4 (also the basis for 'Sueno Latino')), followed by a version of CC's 15 minute CLASSIC 'The Climax' in 2001.

In this new 12" Carl has retained the dub flavour of the original production, teasing out a minimal groove with dub effects.... while retaining a certain 'Essence de Detroit'.



Although this won't make you jump up & down spilling your drink and screaming TUUUNE, if you like your music deep you will certainly dig this.

RHYTHM & SOUND - POOR PEOPLE MUST WORK (CARL CRAIG REMIX)


The other new record is on Carl's own Planet E label... the second single under his 'Tres Demented' moniker. The previous single, a 2003 collaboration with Laurent Garnier, was appropriately named 'Demented'. And it's screaches, screams and crazy drum sounds made it a bit of a dancefloor classic.

This new single, 'Shez Satan', is no less wild. Carl's half-spoken vocals make the track sound much more Chicago than Detroit... a feeling also brought across by the jacking groove. It reminds me a bit of Green Velvet's 'Flash'. Or indeed many other things whose names I can't quite place right now! It's also a pretty dark track.. which is exactly what I love when dancing in a blackened smoke filled room.

'You think that girl is dead,
cops charge you with her death,
but she's alive and getting high on loads of coke & meth.
She's Satan!'

It's a yet another killer tune from the master, and hopefully we'll be hearing it out and about a lot this summer...



Turn it up loud.

TRES DEMENTED - SHEZ SATAN

B-side 'Brainfreeze' is a cracking tune as well.... this 12" is an essential buy!

I'm just a sucker for a pretty face

It was a week ago now, so I guess if i'm gonna write about Hot Chip i'd best do it now.

Supporting, as with the gig in Oxford a couple of weeks ago, was the marvellous Grovesnor... a man who seems to polarise a lot of opinion. All my companions the other night thought he was shit ('An R&B singing accountant' was one comment), but me & Mr Soft (who I met up with in Oxford) both think he's ace. And we both have mp3 blogs. That doesn't necessarily make us right, but it does mean that we can shout louder.

Most criticism seemed to revolve around Mr Grosvenor's appearance. And granted he doesn't look much like a rock star.... but frankly i'm fucking bored with people who look like rock stars. The whole uniform is such a cliche, and is pretty conformist when it comes down to it. Any night out in Hoxton will uncover thousands of wannabe lead singers who all dress the same, and have the same moody arrogant expression on their faces. No, the future belongs to the nerds. And out of the two camps Mr Grovesnor would definitely fall into the latter. However he has an amazingly soulful voice, and some great tunes. And he has an innate ability to put a smile on your face and a swing in your hips.



He seemed to really win the crowd over at King's College, and when he flashed a bit of leg at one point there were squeals of delight from the girls in the audience. I walked past the t-shirt stand after he'd finished, and people were falling over themselves for his CD. And rightly so. Three tracks in particular are glorious. Have a listen to a couple here.

GROVESNOR - THE HOUSE OF MANY WINDOWS

According to the sleeve this is a cover of a track by someone called Bobak Jons Malone. No, me neither. I'd be interested in hearing the original if anyone has it, but in the mean time just soak up this fantastically jaunty hybrid of Prince and Hall & Oates. If this doesn't make you dance round your bedroom in nothing but a pair of dirty Y-fronts I don't know what will.

You can also check the pretty cute video here

This next track, Metrosexual, is hilarious.

Check the lyrics:

"I was feeling metrosexual,
people started thinking I was gay.
So what's so wrong with looking my best?
Individually trimming every hair on my chest,
and moisturising my dry skin away.

Well I maxed up on my credit cards,
and auditioned for West End musical parts,
and somehow became a member of a Fitness First gym."

Love it...

GROVESNOR - METROSEXUAL


Both songs are from Grosvenor's CD-R album 'Metrosexual'. You can buy it from here and it looks like this:



I really really really want to post up the excellent "Only 4 1 Nite" as well. But I will restrain myself.... you'll have to buy the CD if you want to hear it! It's a tale of love in a travel tavern bar the night after a conference. It also contains the phrase 'electric boogaloo'. Which is clearly a good thing.

My only complaint is the ridiculous track idents on the CD. The nine tracks are split into 3 randomly sized portions, so it's been a bit of a bugger to rip these mp3s. Grrr!


Hot Chip were the main course, and they were, of course, utterly fantastic. Especially since we managed to secure a little oasis of space right by the stage (it was absolutely packed behind us!).

Talking of nerds, as I was, Alexis' outfit of severely striped shirt accompanied by baggy bright red cords was a bit controversial. But I think he pulled it off.




MORE COWBELL!




The set was pretty much the same as Oxford. I've had the new album so long it's beginning to sound a bit over familiar, however new songs keep revealing themselves as new favourites. 'Colours' is proving an unexpected live highlight, and I think after both gigs that's been the song i've been humming as I left (and in fact i'm still humming now!).

The only songs I can recall from "Coming on Strong" were 'The Beach Party' and the still mesmerising 'Crap Kraft Dinner'. Otherwise the set is almost entirely made up of material from "The Warning", which is a bit of a shame for those of us hoping for a bit of 'A-B-C', 'One One One' or 'Baby Said'.

Never mind though, for as you probably know "The Warning" is magic. So good times were had by all. The band finished up for a brief encore with the rocking "No Fit State", which is still my single of the year (despite not having been released as a single); and "Over and Over", which drove the crowd wild but at both gigs seemed to be just lacking something for me. Maybe i've been singing it too much over the last 6 months...?

Like a monkey with a miniature cymbal, Hot Chip seem to be playing every festival in Europe this summer. So make sure you go & see 'em. And buy their album as well. It's ace.

Since no-one's looking i'm gonna break my Hot Chip embargo. Shhh.....!

HOT CHIP - COLOURS

>>>>>>>>>>>

Of course with only 75 hours until kick off it's hard to think of anything but the World Cup. I am finally allowing myself to get excited, and i've got the house ready:



source


Finally does this look like a man with a broken right foot?



I've been resigned to Rooney not playing, but come on... with two and a half weeks until the second round begins he must have a great chance of being fit. COME ON!!!!!

If you're from America and wondering what all the fuss is about, please be aware that there are (literally) NO records, films or anything else coming out for the next month. So don't expect a lot of music here! Just fire up your satellite TV & enjoy the greatest sporting event on the planet. Yes, it's even bigger than the 'World' Series....

Lino Squares

Now that the Robocrouch is sweeping the nation, and soon to turn the stadiums of Germany into some kind of epileptic disco... I thought i'd serve up a bit of old-skool electro so you can perfect those moves ready for the World Cup.



It's all in the hands & elbows you see.

In fact I'm a bit worried that I might actually dance like that. I do have a certain 'Crouchiness' about my physique. But at least that will make me cool for one month of my life (or 10 days if we don't make it to the 2nd round!).

Now i'm no expert in the genre, and wouldn't know my Egyptian Lover from my Arabian Prince.... but I do know that these two tracks are hotttt and will make your body pop. Hopefully slightly more rhythmically than Crouchy.

This first cut is by the World Class Wreckin' Crew from back in 1984, and features none other than DR DRE before he went all gangsta. The heavy breathing on the beat is reminiscent of Kraftwerk's Tour de France, and the 'get up on the dancefloor' lyrics seem these days a refreshing change from all the bitches, hoes and drive-bys. Just plain awesome.

"Seven days a week, he's on call
To get the party people up off the wall
You'll fell motivated as he operates
Cos party energy is what she generates
He'll prescribe for you, his potent elixir
Two turntables, speakers, and a mixer
He'll rock your party wherever you be.
Calling Dr. Dre to surgery"

Surely more proof (if it was needed) that Dre is one of the biggest musical geniuses of the 20th century.

WORLD CLASS WRECKIN' CREW - SURGERY

This next one is a bit of an electro classic also (you can't expect me to dig too deep!). I first heard it on Coldcut's INCREDIBLE Journeys By DJ mix - which is still my favourite mix CD ever, and is something that if you don't own you need to BUY! (Seriously... read the reviews if you don't trust me. It's awesome.)



This was apparently adopted as "The Theme Song to Wikipedia" due to, well, look at the title and listen to the track and you will work out why.

Now that i've linked to that Wikipedia article I guess I don't have to pretend I know anything about them by copying information from it. If you want to read about them you can.

Otherwise go ahead and pop the glock:



NEWCLEUS - JAM ON REVENGE (THE WIKKI WIKKI SONG)

Unfortunately the only full length version of this I have is from the Streetsounds Electro album, and the beginning & end are slightly mixed. It shouldn't detract from your enjoyment though!


Ah, i'm just thinking of a stadium full of England fans body popping, and i've started to look forward to the world cup again! Just thank god this month of interminable build up is coming to an end. Roll on Friday!

I broadly agree with my buddy Patrick's thoughts about the main contenders, and might have a sneaky punt on the Dutch. The only thing I know for certain is that England don't have a hope of winning. Second favourites my arse! If however we do go far i'd like to hope we can do it without cheating. The only thing that sickened me more than Gerrard's blatent dive for a penalty on Tuesday was the approval it gained from every single commentator and pundit.

Has it come to this?

I wouldn't mind so much except the very same people still go on and on about Maradonna's handball 20 years after the event. Obviously I don't approve of that either, but what's the difference exactly? It's this win at all costs attitude that's ruining sport, and any victory gained by foul means will ring hollow with me.

Unless, of course, it's against the Germans.