"The Fastest Finger On The Remote Keyboard"

Forget Arctic Monkeys... THIS is the most exciting musical talent I have seen in years.

New Bands Tent

It's been a while since my last venture into 'International A&R', so it's about time for some new music that's been sent to Headphone Sex House.

First up a band called 'Nately', who I saw play at the Clapham Grand a couple of months back. They've built up quite a fan base in the area after playing a number of gigs there, and went down a storm the night I went. Particularly, so it seemed, with girls in flouncy dresses.



They play unpretentious blues-y rock, and I really like this track in particular from their demo CD:

NATELY - THROW ME A SMILE

Now that they've conquered Clapham, the band have their sights set on a Northern Invasion... with a gig at Kings Cross Water Rats on Friday August 5th. They are also playing at Bestival on the Isle of Wight in September... check 'em out if you can.


Next up is a great ditty from Chris Price, sounding like it comes from the same kind of 'bedroom electro' mould as Hot Chip, Erlend Oye or the Junior Boys. I don't know too much about Chris, except that he's written a great little pop song. Give it a listen:



CHRIS PRICE - CHARGE ME UP


Finally I received a really nice CD this morning called 'There is a Problem With My Tape Recorder' by Build Buildings, (AKA New Yorker Ben Tweel). Like for instance Matthew Herbert, he uses 'found sounds', but in this case used to create glitchy electronic landscapes.

Every synth has been painstakingly distilled from organic instruments and samples, and every rhythm has been intricately assembled from household sounds, self-designed drum machines and random noise.

'....Tape Recorder' is Ben's third album, and was described by The Wire as '.. recommended listening for Agoraphobics everywhere'. I can imagine the album would sound great on your headphones wandering around the city, transforming the noises of buses and aircraft into things of beauty. Although every sound seems carefully and deliberately placed, the music has at the same time a real disordered organic feel bringing to mind the fluttering of dragonflies or the edgy movements of crickets. Although it sounds good in the background, this is music that rewards careful listening.

This track threatens at times to become dancefloor-friendly, before reverting a more ambient feel. It's not entirely typical of the rest of the record, but is probably my favourite track.

BUILD BUILDINGS - TEST ME

If you like the sound of it, you can buy the album here.


I'm sure all these guys would appreciate some feedback, so do leave a comment if you enjoyed any of these tracks.......

And if you'd like to send me your music, the details are on the right. Are there any girls making music out there?

Warp News

1: BOC = OCT



2: You can watch 'Rubber Johnny' - the disturbing Aphex Twin / Chris Cunningham collaboration - here.

(It didn't stream too well for me... but you can right-click and save it. You'll then have to watch it via your web browser.)

3: New French signing Jackson might well be delivering a killer album... check a track out over at Music For Robots.


Anyone who says Warp is losing it (a view frequently put across here) needs their head examined. We're only half way through the year & have already had incredible albums from Maximo Park & Jamie Lidell - plus blinding singles from Chok Rock and !!!. And there's Boards of Canada & Jackson to look forward to....





Fackinell.. new Boards of Canada in 3 months!!!!!!!!

Expensive Plastic

A new remix by a man i've been mentioning a lot lately.

I should hate the guy though. I lost my glasses at Glastonbury this year after a girl got a bit over excited during his set in the Lock Tavern, and punched 'em off my face in the middle of a seriously packed out dancefloor. They're the second pair that Glastonbury has claimed from me over the years (the first being during Blur's headline set on the NME stage many years ago).

Now I can't see very well without me specs, but I could see well enough to see them flying through the air in a graceful parabola to some point about 10 people in front of me. After lunging for the floor after them (wiping out a couple of unfortunate bystanders) I managed to recruit about 5 people into helping me search for them in the darkness. After many agonising minutes of dancefloor disruption (and people saying 'you've lost 'em mate' and me saying 'fuck off') a helpful guy who I really wasn't nice enough to managed to salvage the wreckage.



Reminds me of that 'Pete & Dud' sketch.

Peter Cook: You are deficient in the leg division to the tune of
one. Your right leg I like. It's a lovely leg for the role. As soon as I saw
it come in, I said, "Hello! What a lovely leg for the role!"

Dudley Moore: Ah!

Peter Cook: I've got nothing against your right leg.

Dudley Moore: Ah!

Peter Cook: The trouble is -- neither have you.

Yes, unfortunately I was deficient in the lens division to the tune of one. As a result i've spent the last month squinting through a seriously scratched up, woefully under-powered old pair (my decent old pair was unfortunately lost in Bali) until I could scrape together the £350+ for some new specs. You would not believe how much two lenses cost for a blind beggar like me. Seriously fucking ridiculous.

Well luckily I just managed to flog a Bloc Party demo CD on ebay for a fair wedge of cash.. so hopefully I can get the opti-extortion process rolling by visiting the opticians this week. Said optician, upon receipt of my enormous wad, will then instruct the master craftsmen of Nikon in Japan to switch on the 'cutting a wee bit of plastic into two £150 bits of shaped plastic' machine. The lenses will then be flown first-class to London accompanied by an army of Geisha Girls, who will upon arrival place them for safe keeping in a Coutts safety deposit box. After paying Coutts for a month the optician will arrange them to be hand delivered to him by a posse of supermodels and premiership footballers*. He will then fit them into the cheap and nasty frames that is all I will be able to afford.

Sorry.. going off on a bit there. An unfortunate side effect of a lifetime giving vast sums of money to creepy opticians. Come on James, focus.....

So to get to the point, here is the band that paid for about half of my new glasses remixed by the man who lost them in the first place. It would have been beautiful if he'd been playing this at the time it happened, but to be honest he could have been playing the Wombles theme for all I can remember.

BLOC PARTY - SHE'S HEARING VOICES (EROL ALKAN'S CALLING YOUR DUB RE-EDIT)


Incidentally I like this mix very much. There are 200 copies floating round on 12". I may splash out on one if I can find any (£20 on ebay at the moment.... ). I believe it will then feature on the upcoming Bloc Party remix album - which looks like coming out on 29th August.

Whoops.. looking at the tracklisting I've realised that i've now posted 3 tracks from that album here... that's slightly against 'mp3blogrulez' I guess. But I suppose it indicates that it's an album worth buying.



* surely this is the only explanation for the incredible expense?

Back in Blonde

Congratulations to Patrick & Marit..... as a great philosopher once said, 'Live Long and Prosper'.



Sweden is a truly beautiful country, and I was lucky enough to travel a long way North to experience midnight sunsets near the Arctic Circle. It was a stunning location for the wedding, overlooking the mystical-looking Lake Tiljan.




Had a great time in Stockholm as well.. surrounded by gorgeous (and friendly) girls, endless soothing expanses of water, and of course Volvos.





I also enjoyed the fact that Sweden's biggest tourist attraction is a ship that sank 300m after setting sail. I think any other country may have tried to keep it quiet! I suspect that is why they decided to get rather good at building cars and planes instead. Certainly the navy has had a quiet time these last 300 years!

I ended up having a right session on Thursday night ending up on an Ibizan style terrace blasting slightly rubbish house music out over the water . Met a lovely lass called Jessica (Hello if you happen to have had a look here..... I can't remember if I mentioned it). Tried to work out what I was supposed to do with my drink if I couldn't bring it outside with me to have a fag. Did a lot of laughing and joking with strangers. Spent a ludicrous amount of money. Yes Sweden fills your heart with joy... until that is, it's your turn to go to the bar. Good grief. How can a country claim to be civilised when they charge that much for booze?

So I was hoping to return with some great Swedish music, but I can only remember two songs. One: 'The Final Countdown', courtesy of the wedding disco. What a classic. (!) Two: This song by The Concretes, which rocked up on my ipod a couple of times courtesy of the 'Bugged In' disc of DJ genius Erol Alkan's new mix album.

I was wondering whether this was a cover of the Mirwais track (the Les Rhythmes Digitales mix of which I posted a few weeks back) or vice versa, when I realised of course that The Stones did this originally. How could I forget Mick Jagger's na-na-nanananana's on their late-70s disco stomp along.

So this is that, but done in a Swedish Indie-Pop style.

It's nice.

THE CONCRETES - MISS YOU

Wow... I just found this on my computer as well. Not sure where it came from or what it has to do with Ms Ross... but it's great.

THE CONCRETES - DIANA ROSS

I am contractually obliged to mention that the new album by The Concretes is out soon.

Elsewhere on the infowebs, I can't recommend highly enough R Kelly's 'Trapped In The Closet' (yes, really!) - a Hip-Hopera in 5 Parts. It's got more twists and turns (and overacting) than an episode of Poirot. And more importantly it's hysterically funny. Go here & click on 'Video'. Trust me....!

Finally, apologies for linking to her yet again, but Smacked Face has provided what can only be described as an orgy of sweet soul music. Now armed with the awesome power of mp3, this is gonna be one dangerous lady.

Lovely Bit of Pine

I'm imminently off to Sweden for a few days for Patrick's wedding... I've not been to Scandinavia at all before, so i'm well looking forward to the few days I'll have drinking expensive beer while looking at Volvos and blonde girls.

In the absence of any Abba on my hard drive, and since I can't think off-hand of any suitable Swedish songs to post up, here are a couple of great new remixes I picked up last week by Norweigan Pop Goddess Annie.

ANNIE - ALWAYS TOO LATE (¥€$ PRODUCTIONS REMIX)

I have heard that this remix is something to do with Richard X (who also produced many of the tracks on Annie's essential debut album 'Anniemal').. but there is no mention on his website, and ¥€$ seems to be rather Google-unfriendly... anyone know anything about him / her / them?

Whoever it's by, this is an excellent Neptunes-style rework, full of freaky noises & pop goodness. I got it on a sampler CD with an order from the 679 Records website... I don't think it's available on vinyl at all (at the moment).


ANNIE - HAPPY WITHOUT YOU (RITON VOCAL REMIX)

This next mix is from the first in a series of twelves organised by superstar DJ Erol Alkan. Like the Alan Braxe mix of 'Heartbeat' I posted earlier in the year, this takes the original & turns up the pop to 11 and the disco to 12. The single also includes a rocking mix by Sebastian which is well worth checking out.

Sorry (once again) for the brevity... but here's me gabbin' when I should be packin'...

Catch ya next week.

Reasons to be Miserable.. 1. 2. 3. (4. 5. 6........)

I had begun to outline the combination of minor miseries that had led to me feeling a bit down the past few days. However I need to get out of work & get down the pub. So i'll cut to the chase.

OTIS CLAY - THE ONLY WAY IS UP

Yes, it is the original version of 'that Yazz song'. Yes it is tremendous.

If this don't get the serotonin flowing nothing will.


Have a good weekend.

Some Things I Do Might Be A Little Bit Funky

As you’ve probably noticed I’ve been having a bit of an indie phase recently. But enough! The heat is rising, and it's time to listen to something other than pasty boys whining about pasty girls.

I first heard this record at Herbal a couple of years ago. Escaping an extraordinarily tedious electro-house set downstairs (something to do with the evil Groove Armada empire) I began to head up… and was greeted on arrival by the goddamn funkiest record I had ever heard. I virtually mugged the DJ to find out what it was…

I had never previously heard of O’Donel Levy, however by all accounts he’s a bit of a name in the world of jazz. He headlined the Montreaux festival; he’s played with Miles Davis and Dizzy Gillespie; and he’s written for Luther Vandross (RIP) and Herbie Mann. He’s also responsible for this marvellous album sleeve… !



I can’t believe anything else he’s been involved with could be as good as this though.. it’s got a real afro-beat flavour that's just perfect for dancing on a hot summer's evening. So much funk in one song should be illegal. This is dangerous.

"Your heart just goes out through the strings,"

"It's like everything you want to say you always seem to be able to say it better, speak better, through [the guitar]. You know: emotion, your deep down emotion. There are no words to describe what comes out of the strings."

O' DONEL LEVY - BAD, BAD, SIMBA

This track comes from the album 'Simba', which also contains the interesting sounding 'Sad, Sad, Simba'. I eventually tracked it down on a 'Pulp Fusion' compilation, but you can get 'Simba' on import.

O'Donel Levy released a new album this year. Looking at the cover he seems to have metamorphosised into Rick 'Supafreak' James.



Now did I mention pasty boys whining? Well that sounds like fun. In the last week I’ve given you exhaustive Live 8 coverage, an exclusive track from the new Super Furry Animals album, a Sigur Ros track it would normally cost you 50 quid to get hold of, the best new band I’ve heard in years, revealed my near death experience and had nearly 2000 visitors. Total comments: 7. And one of those was by me. In fact looking back it’s been over a month since anyone’s actually commented on a track I’ve put up. Is anyone actually listening to this stuff?

It'd be nice to get some feedback on what i'm posting. Whether you like it or hate it do let me know. Hopefully I can give you more of what you like and less of what you don't. Or alternatively do something more useful with myself than sitting in front of a computer screen....

Super Hot Shit

I have seen the future. And it’s cold. And it’s simian.

They are four. And they are Arctic Monkeys.

And they are fucking amazing.

I don't know much about them except that 1: they are young 2: they are from Sheffield 3: I have spent the last week and a half, despite my best attempts (and despite a new Super Furry Animals album) listening to little else.



The lyrical genius of singer Alex Turner has already been recognised by The Gaurniad. The effortless way he seems to throw out memorable lines reminds me of Morrissey or John Lennon.. yeah I think he's that good. It's a novelty, as that article points out, to hear a song and immediately click what it's about. And to immediately identify with it. Observational tales of chavs, prostitutes and grumpy girlfriends .. stories that everyone sees around them but few can articulate. Screaming girls (and boys) will be hanging on his every word before long.

The track mentioned in the Guardian, 'Fake Tales of San Francisco' is probably their best so far. Every track on their demo album is a winner though. Take this:

ARCTIC MONKEYS – SCUMMY

And look here comes a Ford Mondeo
Isn't he Mister Inconspicuous
And he don't have to say 'owt
She understands she's here to get picked up

And she's delighted when she sees him
Pulling in and giving her the eye
Because she must be fucking freezing
Scantily clad beneath the clear night sky
She don't stop in the winter

Take a look at the video for the incredible ‘Fake Tales of San Francisco’ on the AM website. You can get a taste for quite how good this lot must be live.

‘And yeah, I'd love to tell you all my problem
You're not from New York
City, you're from Rotherham
So get off the bandwagon’

I tell thee… I’ve not been this thrilled by a band for years. I’m considering paying stupid money to go and see them live in August… their upcoming tour is well and truly sold out (well except Hull for some reason - truly the one and only time i've wished I lived there!) So it looks like ebaysville for me.

Unless anyone reading has spare tickets for the Oxford gig ,-)

Last Night

Wot She Said



Well nearly. Although on the whole this was a captivating show I would probably have mentioned that for a couple of songs in the middle I began to get a bit fidgety.. wishing that they could use their sonic experimentation to occasionally plough a slightly different furrow. I would love to hear Sigur Ros attempt to write a more conventional verse chorus verse rock song. I'm sure the results would be marvellous.

But when it was good it was very good - amplified by the warm night, gorgeous setting and crystal clear acoustics. The performance was also a lot more powerful than I expected. The noise assault was reminiscent of My Bloody Valentine at times, and watching Orri attack his drums whenever called upon was a sight to behold. In fact the whole band were good to watch... whether marvelling at Jonsi's extraordinary vocals - particularly when singing through his guitar pickups - or working out whether string-quartet backing group / support act Amina could step in at a Spice Girls reunion (We got as far as 'Saw Spice' and 'Ginger Spice').



There's not a great deal I can add to Jen's review, so i'll skip straight to the music. I was going to post up 'Ny Batteri' (New Batteries), however I will also include 'Rafmagnið Búið' (which of course means 'Electricity Over') - essentially the extended intro to 'Ny Batteri' that came from the CD single. I was going to try & record them into one extended MP3, however frankly I can't be arsed. iTunes will do it for you anyway. It's worth listening to them together though... the long build-up makes it even more dramatic when the bassline kicks in.

Best served in a darkened room:

SIGUR ROS - Rafmagnið Búið
SIGUR ROS - Ny Batteri

God! Show Me Magic

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing.

With 7 albums (not including the b-sides, greatest hits & remix albums) under their belts the Super Furry Animals have a wealth of material to draw from, and every single song last night blew me away. In my mind SFA should be bigger than (bloody) Coldplay.. but I guess they are just slightly too odd for the mass market. And that suits me fine. I don't want to watch them with 50,000 others. I think though, that their undoubted strangeness makes people overlook just how good their songs are.



Opening with one of my particular favourites - 'Slow Life' (see below) - got me onside straight away however it wasn't until a majestic version of 'Hello Sunshine' three songs in that I started feeling really furry. I think the entire audience went weak at the knees. I certainly did. 'Rings Around the World' and 'Do or Die' got everyone jumping again, after which came a couple of tracks off the new album 'Love Kraft'.

I managed to download it on Thursday, and I am happy to report that it is very excellent. Good though the album is though, nothing prepares you for quite how good these songs sound live. Somerset House is a stunning venue anyway... an open air cobbled courtyard surrounded on all four sides by 18th Century splendour... and with a surround sound system in place the songs echoed around the warm London night in a dazzling fashion.

'Zoom!' and 'Frequency' are the two I remember, along with upcoming single 'Lazer Beam' (which i'm not all that keen on at the moment). 'Zoom!' is the opening track on the album.. and while you might think to begin with that it's pretty typical SFA stuff, you just wait till the choir comes in half-way through. Lovely.

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS - ZOOM!

'Frequency' is the moment of incredible beauty that the band seem to come up with on every album. Fuck Barry White... give the object of your desires a CD with 'Hello Sunshine', 'Fire In My Heart', 'Presidential Suite' and 'Frequency' and he/she will be putty in your hands.



Speaking of 'Fire in My Heart', that was another moist-eyed moment. A declaration of love to counter the carnage of the previous day. Everyone reached for the person nearest and hugged them dearly. The bombs were of course well and truly in the minds of those that managed to attend... clearly a lot of people had decided not to make the journey into town. 'Juxtaposed With You' fired out the SFA message of love to the centre of London. 'You've Got to Tolerate, all the people that you hate' rang across The Thames. I also remember a stunning version of 'Run! Christian, Run!' (from 2001's 'Rings Around The World' - their best album IMHO) a glorious track accompanied by an echoing slide guitar. What a great sounding instrument that is. Brings back memories of the KLF's 'Chill Out'.

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS - RUN! CHRISTIAN, RUN!

They ended as usual with their twenty minute techno freakout version of 'The Man Don't Give a Fuck' - which had me leaping up and down like a man possessed, before a strangely anti-climactic finish.. some supposedly amusing video credits. The ending hung in the air like a burning Zeppelin, and that was it.

Although as you can probably tell I thoroughly enjoyed myself the show wasn't a patch on the Royal Festival Hall gig last year. Where were these supposed Futuristic Robots? They also didn't play two of my favourite songs.. 'Demons' and 'Presidential Suite'. (Boo)

Despite this the SFA live experience is always a wonderous thing to behold. If you ever have the opportunity to see them don't hesitate for a second.


If you don't have any of their records, please buy 'Songbook' - the greatest hits album - immediately. What else are you going to spend 8 quid on.. Crack?


'Love Kraft' is out on August 22nd.

Be Excited.

Help Me Understand

My deepest sympathies to anyone whose family or friends were caught up in today's bomb blasts. It must have been an horrific experience for anyone who was there - as I can empathise with all too well having miraculously survived the 2002 Bali bomb. I can only hope that some people managed to have as lucky an escape as I did that day.

If you feel you would like to make some gesture of support at this time, please consider donating money to 'Dan's Fund For Burns', a charity set up by fellow Bali survivor Polly Miller. Having met Polly on a couple of occasions I know what an unimaginable ordeal she went through... and also what incredible energy she has put into setting up and into raising money for this charity. I know that any money you are able to give would be hugely appreciated, and will go towards assisting burns victims in the UK and abroad. You can read about some of the projects already completed in this newsletter. Please consider contributing.


I've just put this song on, and it seems eerily appropriate.

DEPECHE MODE - PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE

Peace.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bring on the Olympic Darts & Snooker............ we dun it!



Nice one Seb.



I do hope they change this bidding process next time - the whole thing is a farce, and a colossal waste of money..... however the many millions spent seem to have been worth it this time (for us anyway).


Up yours Chirac!*




WHITEY - LEAVE THEM ALL BEHIND

* In case you think i'm not being very gracious / Olympian in victory over our beloved neighbours, it's only Chirac's defeat i'm enjoying - not the French nation. Mind you Paris had the World Cup & World Athletics Championships in the past few years so it's definitely our turn. 1948 was a long time ago.

Save the Elk

OK OK, less chatter more music yes?

I love the Super Furry Animals. I was lucky enough to get second row seats at their Royal Festival Hall gig last year.... which turned out I think to be the best show i've ever seen. Mmm.. OK, one of them. After a first half of acoustic and welsh tracks the second half was a carnival of acid rock, banging techno, rampaging yetis, Franciscan Monks, Freaky Dancing, Bewildered Security and Space Invaders. I don't remember ever smiling so much. I'm sure the Festival Hall has never seen anything like it before. The place went absolutely crazy.

Right now I am fairly brimming with excitement as i'm off to see them again on Friday - at Somerset House. The gig is kicking off their tour to promote their new (7th??) album 'Love Kraft' - which comes out on August 22nd. From the small amount i've heard about it I can't wait.

This track, 'Slow Life', was I suppose their last single. It wasn't heard much though, since it was only available packaged up with limited copies of the disappointing remix album 'Phantom Phorce'. That's a real shame as this is one of their best songs.

It's pretty much SFA in a nutshell - melodic genius, freaky beats, heartfelt lyrics and a large mug of mushroom tea. Tasty.

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS - SLOW LIFE

I know advance copies of Love Kraft are floating around & i'm dying to hear this before Friday... if anyone has managed to pick up a copy already (and can get it to me somehow) please let me know. I'd be eternally grateful.

By the way I have some spare tickets for Friday if anyone wants them. They were £25 each. I think they have something special lined up. The Yetis have been killed off, but they are to be replaced by something new entirely.

Rumours have been circulating that the band's new costumes will be robots, which Gruff admitted was close to the mark: "There is gonna be something but it's gonna be post-robots. It's very futuristic, whereas the robot is history. The thing is, this thing is so new it doesn't even have a name."

Oooh I am excited.

In other news, I may have given up on my promised Glastonbury coverage. I don't have time & it's all a bit too hazy! Fortunately it seems I have a stalker. Someone else seems to have followed me round for most of the festival, thus saving me the bother of doing a write up myself. Hooray! Read that, take away most of the good bands (I somehow managed to miss Brian Wilson, The Magic Numbers, Bloc Party and Roots Manuva - and indeed 99% of what I wanted to see) & you'll be about there!

A Beautiful Day

Wasn't Live8 fantastic? Being a cynical bastard by nature I really tried to dislike it (and after sitting through Dido & Miss Dynamite-e-eeee I was feeling vindicated), however by the time Snoop 'What's my motherfuckin' name' Dogg rocked the crowd in the middle of the afternoon I was sold.




I missed quite a bit of the stuff in the evening, but hopefully i'll be able to download the bits i've missed. My little sister was having her housewarming party last night, and although we had her portable TV on it wasn't audible, and until it wasn't until the end that we had the brainwave of tuning the radio in. I did feel for the neighbours attempting to watch the show with our stereo pumping out at full volume with a 2 second time delay!

The Good

• The BBC coverage was superb... apart from when Chris Martin said 'we're going to show you a very important film now. If the BBC cut away they're not doing their job.' Cue cut to Jonathan Ross in studio! Other than that (and Fern 'Amazing' Cotton) it was great though. I'm particularly grateful after reading American viewers' attempts to watch the action on MTV or VH1. Long live the beeb! Down with advertising!
  
• The bloke is clearly a twat, however Razorlight were good fun. That 'Somewhere Else' is a good song.
  
• The oldies rocking the house late on. We finally managed to synch the stereo up in time for The Who... so the neighbours were treated to a time-delayed 'turn it up to 11' finale of The Who, Pink Floyd & Macca. Yeah, let's party like it's 1975.
  
• Snoop Motherfuckin' Dogg. OG. I can't imagine there's ever been so much fucking on TV at 5 in the afternoon. I'm all for making poverty history by swearing a lot.
  
• An interesting set by Macca... I wouldn't have bet on 'Helter Skelter' to be one of his choices - he nailed it though. I'm almost starting to forgive him for all that 'McCartney and Lennon' nonsense.
  
• Almost.
  
• Yeah U2 were great as well. The doves were cheesy as hell, but hey it worked for me.
  
• I didn't realise The Killers did that 'I got soul, but i'm not a soldier' song. It was good. I've danced to that in clubs a lot.. who did the remix i'm likely to know?
  
• Was Peter Kay absolutely plastered? I was only half watching at the time but it looked like he had to be escorted from the stage.
  
• The crowd still finding room in their hearts to boo the French when they read out the list of venues! Bravo!
  
• Surely all this will do no harm at all to London's 2012 Olympic bid? (could they not have found a better picture of the Queen?)
  

The Bad

• Coldplay are rubbish, and will never write a song as good as 'Bittersweet Symphony'.
  
• Talking of rubbish.. what is the point of Pete Doherty? Write a decent song and then i'll take an interest in your pathetic drug-addled life.
  
• Missing Robbie Williams & Madonna - supposedly the two highlights of the show. Thank god for the interwebs.... (see above)

• I had the sound down for Mariah Carey but she looked terrible. Unfortunately my lasting memory of the whole event is going to be an image of Victoria Beckham singing her little heart out to a Mariah number. Gah!!
  
• I still can't believe they couldn't find more room for African artists on the bill. Surely the resolution of any problems in Africa have got to be done in partnership with Africa - not with a load of white folks telling them what to do. A bit of exposure and therefore money for someone like Femi Kuti would have validated the whole event much more for me. It would have been good to hear as well.
  
• What was with that enormous 'Golden Circle' VIP area? Is this the model of democracy that African nations are supposed to follow? An elite tucking into lobster and Dom Perignon at £100 a bottle, while the plebs fenced off a mile from the stage aren't allowed alcohol and have to suck down sloppy burgers. All that was missing were a bit of random gunfire shot intermittently into the public section and it could have been something organised by Kim Jong-Il. I'm sure if they could have thought of 200,000 celebrities to invite the organisers would have dispensed with the public altogether.
  
• Where is this country 'Africa' anyway? Last I heard it was 54 countries with 800 million people. A place of greater diversity than anywhere on earth. Is it a good idea to continually paint the entire continent as a dusty desert filled with malnourished, bloated and weeping children waiting for hand-outs from the West.
  
• I'm still not totally sold on what the whole 'Make Poverty History' thing is trying to acheive. I can't quibble with the sentiment, but I can't help feeling that our main priority as a planet should be to address climate change and greenhouse gas emissions. Yes Bush you fucking retard, this is a man made problem and we need to fucking do something about it. I can't help but worry that if existing third world nations develop in the same way as India, China and Mexico have - i.e. with massive & uncontrolled fossil fuel consumption - then the problems we are seeing now are going to be magnified tenfold in the future. I'm worried that this will get swept under the carpet in the rush to hand out some large sounding but insignificant amount of money to Africa.
  
• 
  

(in case you can't read that it says 'Global Warming? Next you'll be telling us we're descended from monkeys')

The 'Make Poverty History' slogan doesn't wash with me either. I mean there is terrible, crushing poverty in this country & we can't do anything about that. I'm also sure any Sunday afternoon drive around downtown Detroit would reveal destitution, hunger and hopelessness to match anything in Africa.

Don't get me wrong, it's a disgrace that anyone in the world should be without access to clean water or essential medicines, and despite what anyone says we in the West OWE Africa big time. We spent centuries raping the contintent for minerals, oil and slaves - and continue to do so. 'Ah yes, but if we give money to Africa it will be stolen by corrupt governments and spent on guns and armoured Mercedes'. Well yes that may be true.. but in the majority of cases those corrupt Governments have been installed through the meddling of the West (America) who have then supplied them with vast wealth and armaments in the interests of selling more coke or pumping out oil or diamonds. Debt relief in the past has been granted with terrible conditions allowing foreign companies access to Africa whilst denying reciprocal agreements.

Personally i'd like to see a commitment to (truly) fair trade, cancellation of ALL existing debt, significant reparations in compensation for the slave trade, and a complete ban on the evil and immoral trade in arms.

But that's not going to happen, is it.

• Of course a small portion of the trillions of dollars spent on murdering Iraqis would have saved many many thousands of lives. But that's different to all the wars being waged in Africa isn't it. They are all barbaric savages with no respect for human life aren't they. After all the Twentieth century has been a time of unrivalled peace in Europe hasn't it? Ah yes, it's another 'do as we say, not as we do' moment isn't it.
  
  The fact is that if we want to tell the world what to do, we have to lead by example. That means scrapping weapons programs, ENORMOUS undertakings to cut fossil fuel emissions and a significant shift from oil towards renewable energy sources. Otherwise we're all fucked, and before too long much of Europe will be as dry & uninhabitable as sub-saharan Africa.
  
  
  

Ah look. I can't help myself. Even after the superb day yesterday all I can do is complain and rant. What did you think? Did you enjoy the show? What would be a good result to come out of the G8 summit? Are we all doomed? Should we just accept that we're all going down in flames and live our last days having a bacchanalian orgy of sex, guns and fucking in the street?

And most importantly, how did the Kaiser Chiefs go down in Philadelphia?