No Surprises

Is there anyone who hasn't read enough uninformed garbage about the World Cup already, from a thousand pundits desperately churning out their thousand-word commissions?

All of you? Excellent. In that case i'll weigh in with my own ill-informed opinions and lazy national stereotypes as I attempt to forecast the outcomes of tonight's matches.


Today, 5pm - Group A
Germany vs Costa Rica

Although the hosts or holders traditionally struggle in the opening game, the sneaky Germans have just been handed too easy a group to have any problems in qualification. They will be out-played for the majority of the game. The Costa Ricans will hit the woodwork twice. And the Germans will fire in an 89th minute goal for a 1-0 victory.

Despite their terrible form (they've recently lost to Ukraine (4-0) and Czech Republic (1-0)), Costa Rica have a great opportunity now that Ballack is out injured. But let's face it. The only certainties in life are death, taxes, and Germany fluking their way to the final. Nah, i'd bet all of Jurgen Klinsmann's love beads on a German win.

However... who gave Senegal a hope last time???


Prediction: Germany 1 - 0 Costa Rica

Beer in fridge: Weihenstephaner Weissbier



Today, 8pm - Group A
Poland vs Ecuador

Having had a great time in Ecuador a few years ago i'd really like to see them do well. Trouble is they've qualified for the last two World Cups by virtue of their fantastic home record, which they've acheived through playing at high altitude in Quito. When brought back down to earth they tend to become rather more beatable. And I think they'll particularly struggle against the physical European teams in their group. Poland are the sort of side who'll brush aside Ecuador with depressing efficiency, and I can see them running out comfortable winners.


Prediction: Poland 3 - 0 Ecuador

Beer in fridge: Zywiec


In music news, Sandi Thom has somehow got to number one with that awful 'Punk Rocker' song. Charlie Brooker reckon's she's the antichrist. He might have a point.

All the comment about her has focussed on her supposed bedroom gigs that supposedly spread round the internet like wildfire supposedly winning her hundreds of thousands of fans.

But what I don't understand is what she's on about. 'I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair'. Eh??? Am I missing something here? Shouldn't it be 'I wish I was a punk rocker with a kebab skewer through my tongue'. Quite how this drivel has entered the nation's consciousness I will never know.