Expensive Plastic

A new remix by a man i've been mentioning a lot lately.

I should hate the guy though. I lost my glasses at Glastonbury this year after a girl got a bit over excited during his set in the Lock Tavern, and punched 'em off my face in the middle of a seriously packed out dancefloor. They're the second pair that Glastonbury has claimed from me over the years (the first being during Blur's headline set on the NME stage many years ago).

Now I can't see very well without me specs, but I could see well enough to see them flying through the air in a graceful parabola to some point about 10 people in front of me. After lunging for the floor after them (wiping out a couple of unfortunate bystanders) I managed to recruit about 5 people into helping me search for them in the darkness. After many agonising minutes of dancefloor disruption (and people saying 'you've lost 'em mate' and me saying 'fuck off') a helpful guy who I really wasn't nice enough to managed to salvage the wreckage.



Reminds me of that 'Pete & Dud' sketch.

Peter Cook: You are deficient in the leg division to the tune of
one. Your right leg I like. It's a lovely leg for the role. As soon as I saw
it come in, I said, "Hello! What a lovely leg for the role!"

Dudley Moore: Ah!

Peter Cook: I've got nothing against your right leg.

Dudley Moore: Ah!

Peter Cook: The trouble is -- neither have you.

Yes, unfortunately I was deficient in the lens division to the tune of one. As a result i've spent the last month squinting through a seriously scratched up, woefully under-powered old pair (my decent old pair was unfortunately lost in Bali) until I could scrape together the £350+ for some new specs. You would not believe how much two lenses cost for a blind beggar like me. Seriously fucking ridiculous.

Well luckily I just managed to flog a Bloc Party demo CD on ebay for a fair wedge of cash.. so hopefully I can get the opti-extortion process rolling by visiting the opticians this week. Said optician, upon receipt of my enormous wad, will then instruct the master craftsmen of Nikon in Japan to switch on the 'cutting a wee bit of plastic into two £150 bits of shaped plastic' machine. The lenses will then be flown first-class to London accompanied by an army of Geisha Girls, who will upon arrival place them for safe keeping in a Coutts safety deposit box. After paying Coutts for a month the optician will arrange them to be hand delivered to him by a posse of supermodels and premiership footballers*. He will then fit them into the cheap and nasty frames that is all I will be able to afford.

Sorry.. going off on a bit there. An unfortunate side effect of a lifetime giving vast sums of money to creepy opticians. Come on James, focus.....

So to get to the point, here is the band that paid for about half of my new glasses remixed by the man who lost them in the first place. It would have been beautiful if he'd been playing this at the time it happened, but to be honest he could have been playing the Wombles theme for all I can remember.

BLOC PARTY - SHE'S HEARING VOICES (EROL ALKAN'S CALLING YOUR DUB RE-EDIT)


Incidentally I like this mix very much. There are 200 copies floating round on 12". I may splash out on one if I can find any (£20 on ebay at the moment.... ). I believe it will then feature on the upcoming Bloc Party remix album - which looks like coming out on 29th August.

Whoops.. looking at the tracklisting I've realised that i've now posted 3 tracks from that album here... that's slightly against 'mp3blogrulez' I guess. But I suppose it indicates that it's an album worth buying.



* surely this is the only explanation for the incredible expense?